Posted on September 10, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
Hey all. It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. But Livvy is too out of it and emotionally disconnected to write about herself at the moment. Currently, she’s lying in her tent, utterly dejected. She’s had an emotionally charged and straining day. Currently, she is feeling completely fat and ugly and cowardly because [...]
Filed under: A Word From Asa | Tagged: anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fat, food, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, rexia, self harm, self injury, sleep, suicidal, thin | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 8, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I leave in my wake a trail of failed treatment attempts. How do I feel about treatment? I really don’t know. I may have the opportunity in the upcoming months to do a special kind of residential treatment. If the chance comes up, I would go, whole heartedly. That said, I just have so many [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fasting, fat, food, purge, recover, recovery, residential, restrict, restricting, rexia, therapy, treatment | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 8, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I have a slight case of the post-purge jitters. I just finished purging my only real meal of the day. Granted, not being an actual meal does not diminish the loathing for that muffin I ate, with intentions to purge but didn’t. But that’s another story altogether.
I just finished showing my mom how to find [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, cutting, denial, dr crusher, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fasting, fat, food, mia, next generation, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, self harm, self injury, something wrong with the universe, star trek | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 3, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I saw this on another blog about 20 minutes ago.
This is a link!
It’s part of a book about a male food critic with bulimia. I read through, it took a while to get me interested. After about 2/3 of the way through, I realized I want to find a man with an eating disorder. Is [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fasting, fat, food, food critic, love, male, man, mia, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 2, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
The last 2 nights, I’ve cried myself to sleep because I feel so abandoned. I’ve also been waking up from nightmares. I don’t know what they’re about, I just know I wake up crying and afraid.
I’ve moved into my parents’ back yard. My dad doesn’t know I’m here, he never goes to the back yard. [...]
Filed under: Day to Day Life | Tagged: alone, anorexia, bulimia, camping, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, groceries, homeless, low calorie, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, proana, recover, restrict, restricting | Leave a Comment »
Posted on August 27, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
There is a vein in my wrist that sticks out in one spot and taunts me so. I want to slice it open. Not to die. Just to see the blood flow. But I’m too cowardly to try.
I found my box of art supplies and I was looking through it. I found my recovery binder. [...]
Filed under: Day to Day Life | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, pro-ana, proana, purge, recover, recovery, rexia, self harm, self injury | Leave a Comment »
Posted on August 27, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
**Warning**
Self-harm trigger warning.
Where are you and I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and [...]
Filed under: Events Updates, Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: addict, ana, anorexia, binge, blade, blink 182, blood, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, knife, miss you, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, proana, purge, razor, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, self harm, self injury, x-acto | 2 Comments »
Posted on April 14, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I was reading the Bible online at biblegateway.com and I went to 1 Corinthians 13. This is one of my favorite sections of the Bible because it deals with love and I love love. Today I decided to read in the Message, a paraphrased version of the Bible.
It had a section that said:
Love never dies. [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: 1 corinthians 13, anorexia, Bible, bulimia, Christian, christianity, eating disorder, eating disorders, God, hope, jalepeno dancers, jumping from a bridge, love, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, proana, purge, recover, recovery, rexia, sky diving, trust | Leave a Comment »
Posted on April 13, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I love long sleeves. They’re so comfortable and warm and welcoming. And these ones are really soft. This is the first time I’ve worn this shirt. It’s a cream and tan striped, hooded, light-weight sweater. None of this really has anything to do with the purpose of my post tonight, but as I was getting [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: cutting, long sleeves, pro-recover, pro-recovery, pro-support, recover, recovery, self harm, self injury | Leave a Comment »
Posted on April 13, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
**Warning: Trigger warning! Do not read this post if you are likely to be triggered by the description of self harming or if you have an aversion to reading about blood**
A pair of new shoes with matchin’ laces!
A permanent box at Sheepshead races!
A porcelain tub with boilin’ water!
A Saturday night with the mayor’s daughter!
Look at [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, food, king of new york, mia, Newsies, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, pro-support, proana, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, self harm, self injury, slumdog millionaire | Leave a Comment »
