Posted on September 10, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
Hey all. It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. But Livvy is too out of it and emotionally disconnected to write about herself at the moment. Currently, she’s lying in her tent, utterly dejected. She’s had an emotionally charged and straining day. Currently, she is feeling completely fat and ugly and cowardly because [...]
Filed under: A Word From Asa | Tagged: anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fat, food, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, rexia, self harm, self injury, sleep, suicidal, thin | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 8, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I leave in my wake a trail of failed treatment attempts. How do I feel about treatment? I really don’t know. I may have the opportunity in the upcoming months to do a special kind of residential treatment. If the chance comes up, I would go, whole heartedly. That said, I just have so many [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fasting, fat, food, purge, recover, recovery, residential, restrict, restricting, rexia, therapy, treatment | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 8, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I have a slight case of the post-purge jitters. I just finished purging my only real meal of the day. Granted, not being an actual meal does not diminish the loathing for that muffin I ate, with intentions to purge but didn’t. But that’s another story altogether.
I just finished showing my mom how to find [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, cutting, denial, dr crusher, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fasting, fat, food, mia, next generation, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, self harm, self injury, something wrong with the universe, star trek | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 3, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I saw this on another blog about 20 minutes ago.
This is a link!
It’s part of a book about a male food critic with bulimia. I read through, it took a while to get me interested. After about 2/3 of the way through, I realized I want to find a man with an eating disorder. Is [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, eating disorder, eating disorders, fast, fasting, fat, food, food critic, love, male, man, mia, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia | Leave a Comment »
Posted on September 2, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
The last 2 nights, I’ve cried myself to sleep because I feel so abandoned. I’ve also been waking up from nightmares. I don’t know what they’re about, I just know I wake up crying and afraid.
I’ve moved into my parents’ back yard. My dad doesn’t know I’m here, he never goes to the back yard. [...]
Filed under: Day to Day Life | Tagged: alone, anorexia, bulimia, camping, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, groceries, homeless, low calorie, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, proana, recover, restrict, restricting | Leave a Comment »
Posted on August 29, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
Today I had 4 liters of Mountain Dew and stayed up with my brothers playing video games and watching movies. We all had a case of severe fits and giggles by the time we hunkered down for the night with The Fifth Element on the tv. I’d never seen it before.
Nothing much to report. The [...]
Filed under: Day to Day Life | Tagged: anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, eating disorder, eating disorders, evil villain, fat, fifth element, food, pro-ana, proana, radioactive rubber pants, rexia, violin theme song | 2 Comments »
Posted on August 27, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
There is a vein in my wrist that sticks out in one spot and taunts me so. I want to slice it open. Not to die. Just to see the blood flow. But I’m too cowardly to try.
I found my box of art supplies and I was looking through it. I found my recovery binder. [...]
Filed under: Day to Day Life | Tagged: ana, anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, pro-ana, proana, purge, recover, recovery, rexia, self harm, self injury | Leave a Comment »
Posted on August 27, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
**Warning**
Self-harm trigger warning.
Where are you and I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and [...]
Filed under: Events Updates, Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: addict, ana, anorexia, binge, blade, blink 182, blood, bulimia, calories, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, knife, miss you, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, proana, purge, razor, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, self harm, self injury, x-acto | 2 Comments »
Posted on April 8, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
Let’s start on a happy note.
Ok…
*Deep breath*
Well, just got back from a 10-day trip to California to visit friends. It was one of the most magical and trying weeks in a very long time.
I enjoyed myself so much. Biking to the beach, going to Disneyland, playing cards, watching movies, so many [...]
Filed under: Events Updates | Tagged: anorexia, binge, bulimia, cutting, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, food, grace kelly, mika, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, pro-support, proana, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, self harm, self injury, vegan, weight loss pills | 1 Comment »
Posted on March 22, 2009 by lyricsonthelake
I hate weight loss commercials. Especially since most of the people on them don’t even need to lose weight.
Tonight, there was one on that went like this:
“I work around food all the time. Before I knew it, I was over 300 pounds. That’s when I realized I needed to do something about my weight.”
It really [...]
Filed under: Thoughts and Musings | Tagged: anorexia, binge, bulimia, calories, commercial, eating disorder, eating disorders, fat, nutritionist, pro-ana, pro-recover, pro-recovery, pro-support, proana, purge, recover, recovery, restrict, restricting, rexia, thin, weight loss, weigth gain | 2 Comments »
