Food?

So the last week or so have been interesting food-wise. I’ve only purged once in the last 8 days, but I’ve also only averaged 478 calories per day, and that only because I had 1,660 on Friday. Yesterday, I had 248, which seems to be normal for me now. It’s becoming hard to eat at [...]

Nothing is Guaranteed

I just read a blog post about taking things for granted. It it, she said:
Funny how much we take for granted.
Take me, for example.
I take for granted that when I get up in the morning, the light will come on when I flip the switch. That water will come out when I turn the [...]

Dreams

I’ve been having more unpleasant dreams than usual. More meaning in greater numbers.
Sunday, I wasn’t feeling well so I spent most of the day in bed…dreaming. It was a long day filled with one unpleasant dream after another.  In the morning, I had mentioned the pain I was having to my mom (my whole body [...]

Blue Personality Type

Quite a while back, I took a personality test. I stuck it in a draft intending to look at it later, but I forgot. Today, I was cleaning out my drafts when I came across it. I don’t agree with everything, but a lot of it seems accurate. It’s hard to judge ones own self [...]

Sex For Pleasure

I find the thought of sex for pleasure disgusting. I have for as long as I can remember. I’ve never found anyone who feels the same, which is good, since sex is normal and healthy. But today I was reading a manga that I chose at random from onemanga.com and it’s about a serial killer [...]

Optimism

So, in an effort to be more positive, I’ve decided to start listing happy things each day.
So today, here’s my happy things:

My brother fixed my computer so I can play one of my favorite games ever: Phantasy Star Online
I dyed my hair with kool-aid. It didn’t turn out how I wanted, but it is different [...]

Asa Returns

Hey all. It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. But Livvy is too out of it and emotionally disconnected to write about herself at the moment. Currently, she’s lying in her tent, utterly dejected. She’s had an emotionally charged and straining day. Currently, she is feeling completely fat and ugly and cowardly because [...]

*Exhales*

It’s been a very long, hard day.

Treatment? What!?

I leave in my wake a trail of failed treatment attempts. How do I feel about treatment? I really don’t know. I may have the opportunity in the upcoming months to do a special kind of residential treatment. If the chance comes up, I would go, whole heartedly. That said, I just have so many [...]

Some Perspective, or Something Like It?

I have a slight case of the post-purge jitters. I just finished purging my only real meal of the day. Granted, not being an actual meal does not diminish the loathing for that muffin I ate, with intentions to purge but didn’t. But that’s another story altogether.
I just finished showing my mom how to find [...]