Don’t waste your time on me

**Warning**
Self-harm trigger warning.
Where are you and I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and [...]

Day 1

I’ve decided to do a 40 day fast. I’m pretty excited. I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time.
Parameters:

during meal times I’ll spend time with God either praying, reading my Bible, or listening

That’s the only one I can think of at the moment.

Making Decisions

I ‘m terrible about making decisions. I don’t like doing it, and when I do make one I tend to have trouble sticking to it. Recovery is one of the many decisions that I made all too quickly and then had trouble following through with.
After spending 10 days eating what I only hope was normally [...]

Intake Update

1 Hard candy: 35 calories
Soup: 90 calories
Total:  190
I am loving vegan-ness so far, but it’s only been 2 days.

I’ll tell you where it can go…

Let’s start on a happy note.

Ok…
*Deep breath*
Well, just got back from a 10-day trip to California to visit friends. It was one of the most magical and trying weeks in a very long time.
I enjoyed myself so much. Biking to the beach, going to Disneyland, playing cards, watching movies, so many [...]

Top 10 Reasons Not to Have Money

Ok, this is a very embarrassing post, but I’m going to be completely honest.
Reasons bulimics shouldn’t get tax returns:

1 frozen Totino’s pizza ($1.40)
2 liters of Mountain Dew ($1.25)
9 ice cream sandwiches ($7.00)
4 Heath Klondike bars ($3.50)
2 handfuls of Doritos ($4.00)
1/4 box of Triscuits, complete with squeeze cheddar ($10.00)
10 miniature assorted candy bars ($7.00)
1.5 M&M cookies [...]

Youtube

Last night I made a youtube video for a friend. I put it on private. I had the hardest time with this video. The whole time, all I could think of was for terribly fat I am and how puffy my face was. I nearly, on a few occasions, deleted it just because I was [...]

Teehee!

We just got internet! I cannot express how happy I am! I haven’t had reliable internet in quite literally forever!
I’m nearly in tears with joy.

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice when I’m not around, you’re so very special, I want to be special. If I were on my computer I’d put a line break here. Sadly, it doesn’t work on my phone. Anyway I just wanted to check in. I wrote a closed post on my computer and I’ll sort [...]

Quite Quieter Than Spiders

Ok….I’m way to tired to make a post tonight, but since I haven’t made one in a few days, I thought I should drop by and say hello.
Tomorrow, I’ll try to post a bizarre conversation I had earlier with a male friend about throwing up.
In the mean time, go listen to this song: I Sing [...]