Crash Course in Parenting

I have loved this song since I first heard it last year, and in so many ways it captures my relationship with God and with myself.

This summer I have had so much fun taking care of three children, ages 10, 9, and 7. I have learned a great deal about what it’s like to be a parent. I’ve learned that sometimes, you need to make kids do things they’re afraid to do. I’ve learned that sometimes you need to help them think creatively. Sometimes you needs to encourage them to do things they wouldn’t normally do. Sometimes you have to do things you wouldn’t normally do. I’ve also learned that you’re not always right, and they will notice.

Another thing I’ve discovered is it’s a lot of learning as you go. A lot of “oops, shouldn’t have done that!” I would have thought that, having worked with kids for 17 years that I wouldn’t have as many of these moments as I do. But I’ve learned that there is a HUGE difference between teaching a classroom of children, or even babysitting children, than taking care of them all day, every day. Go figure! And while I have done camp counseling where I was responsible for groups of children for an entire week, their whole day was pretty planned out and I basically took them from place to place and kept them entertained during any lulls. This is SOOO much different!

Finally, I’ve discovered that I just don’t understand boys. You would think that, growing up spending more time with my brothers than my sisters I would know exactly how to handle the 10 year old boy. But I’m so much more at ease with the two girls. I can do hair and nails for hours. If I didn’t love video games, I honestly don’t know what the boy and I would do together. If we could go camping or hiking or something, great! But in a house? I’m clueless. I tried convincing him to play Jedi with me and you know what he told me? “Won’t we get hurt if we try hitting each other with sticks?” Well, that was my whole childhood!

One thing I love about taking care of these children is that I’ve really started to think about how I want to raise my own children. I realize that I’ll need to discuss a lot of this with my future husband. But I’ve come to realize there are certain things I for sure want to do and others I absolutely do not want to do. For example, I will never use food as a punishment or a reward. And I want to make it a habit of telling my children character qualities I love about them. I want them to know from the time they are little that I love them, no matter what, regardless of anything they do. I want them to know that they are beautiful, and it doesn’t depend on their size, their clothes, their makeup, or their hair. I want to instill in them that they have a God who loves them deeply and passionately, who is never disappointed in them, and who has the best possible future planned for them no matter what choices they make or what happens in their lives. I want them to have a firm foundation in the Word, which means reading with them, teaching them, and answering their questions, and encouraging them to seek the truth on their own, and not to accept things “because Mommy said so”. There’s more, but that’s all that comes to mind right now.

As a fun aside, the kids and I came home tonight to find that one of their hamster cages had been knocked over by one of the cats. This led to three freaked out children running around trying to find the three missing hamsters. We found one of them curled up terrified still inside the cage. We found another not much long afterward and stuck both in a plastic bin (the hamster cage was in pieces) and went searching for the third. After no luck for quite a few minutes, all three children began to fear the worst. It had escaped the house. A cat had eaten it. Miserable fate after miserable fate was proclaimed. I reassured them that it was likely just spooked and hiding. However, there were so many hiding spots that I wasn’t sure how likely it was that we’d find it any time soon.

Finally, the youngest yelled that she saw it run under the sofa! The eldest child (the boy) ran over and picked up the front of the sofa while the girls and I tried to find the hamster. That thing shot around like it was fueled by rockets! After a couple minutes, the boy said he couldn’t hold the sofa and the 9 year old girl (who owns the hamsters) cried that if he dropped it, he’d squish and kill the hamster (so much drama!). So I went to switch places with him and held the sofa up for a while. The kids had quite the trouble catching the little hamster, so I suggested they go get bins to drop on top of him once he got hear them.

Eventually he shot under the armchair, the lamp, the coffee table, the tv, and back under the sofa. We had moved every piece of furniture at one point. Their mom was out running an errand and I was afraid she was going to open the door and the tiny hamster was going to shoot through the door and it’d be the last we saw of him. Also, I was tasked with putting the three to bed and here I was sending them running around the room. Luckily, after quite the ordeal and trashing the living room and thoroughly winding up the kids, the hamster ran across the room and the youngest ran like a lightning bolt and caught him before I even realized what happened. She was so proud of herself and I was so happy it was finally caught! I quickly had her put the hysterical little creature in the plastic bin, sang them “soft kitty, warm kitty” and sent them off to change into pajamas while I reassembled the cage.

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