Trust Steadily

I was reading the Bible online at biblegateway.com and I went to 1 Corinthians 13. This is one of my favorite sections of the Bible because it deals with love and I love love. Today I decided to read in the Message, a paraphrased version of the Bible.

It had a section that said:
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete.
We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

I really loved that. Especially the part about trusting steadily, hoping unswervingly, and loving extravagantly. Three things I definitely need to work on. Oh, yes.

So…trust? Really, God? You want me to trust? Meh.

Trusting is so very tricky, now isn’t it? The main problem I have with trust, even with trusting God, is reliance. According to dictionary.com, trust is “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing”. And while I have no doubt as to God’s integrity, strength, ability, surety, or anything else, it’s the reliance past I have an issua with. Relying on God and not myself means moving beyond myself and letting God handle things.

Ohhh, that! Right…well, you see, God…it’s one thing to know that You can and will do everything You say You will. It’s another thing entirely to actually let you do it. I have, in case You hadn’t noticed, some minor control issues. I like having, or thinking I have, control. Give that to you? Hmmm, can I think about that?

*In whiny voice* I want to do it myself…

That’s how I feel. Yep, you can probably do a way better job than I ever could. But I know myself and my abilities, strengths, limitations. There’s no trust involved if I do it.  Reliance. That’s not my strong suit.

So how do I work on trusting? But not just trust, but to trust steadily? Continuancy. Consistancy. Permanance. Also not strong points. Can’t I just trust a little today and a little more next week?

Steadily. Leave my warm niche and step out? I like my comfort zones. I can honestly say I steadily stay in the realm of what I know and where I’m comfortable.

But what kind of life is that?? I like the new. I love to learn. I like to see and think and go. So why do I let myself stay in my little bubble of long, comfortable sweaters and security? Give me the chance, I’d jump from a plane or bunjie jump from a bridge. I’d backpack through an unknown country, move where I don’t know the customs or language, set up camp at the bottom of the ocean, fly to pluto. But I won’t allow a little reliance on the One I know I can always depend on?

That doesn’t seem right somehow.