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Sophie cannot finish her dinner
She says she’s eaten enough
Sophie’s trying to make herself thinner
Says she’s eating too much
And her brother says, “You’re joking,”
And her mother’s heart is broken
Sophie has a hard time coping
And, besides, Sophie’s hoping

She can be like all the other girls
Be just like all the other girls
Living in an ordinary world
Just to fit in, in the ordinary world
Just to fit in like an ordinary girl.
from “Sophie”
by Eleanor McEvoy

You should feel privileged. I don’t usually share this song with people. As in, I never do. Now, it’s pretty well known in the ED world, but it’s kind of like my “dirty little secret”. I don’t know what it is about this song, but sharing it makes me feel kind of vulnerable.

Today’s been a hard food day. I haven’t eaten today. It’s 10:00pm, I don’t plan to eat tonight. I haven’t even had any gum today because I couldn’t handle the 2 calories in a piece of gum. I have, however, consumed a gallon of kool-aid made with splenda and half a gallon of water from my gallon jug.

I don’t understand why some days are so hard food-wise. Not that it bothers me, really. I’m down a couple pounds and hoping to lose some more before I start work on Monday. It’s interesting, but things that are just ordinary for normal people always become weight loss deadlines for me. Holidays, my birthday, a new job, getting to see friends you haven’t seen in a while, pretty much anything can be one. And that’s on top of the standard Sunday deadlines.

And speaking of weight loss, scales. I have a beautiful, sleek, glass top scale. My scale has all the bells and whistles. I think it’s appropriate to say that I love my scale. I am indeed very fond of it. Interestingly enough, I’m never displeased with my scale for telling me things I don’t want to hear. I get upset with the little digital number. It’s like it’s a separate entity apart from the scale. Crazy, eh?

Still concerning scales, I noticed today that the number of times I weigh myself has dramatically decreased. A year ago, I weighed 9-12 times a day. Yeah, I’m a little obsessive. Now, I weigh every morning, every night, and once in the middle of the day. Now, granted, my 9 was actually like 27 and my current 3 is actually about 9 because I weigh about 3 times each time I weigh, just to be sure.

So yeah, I haven’t weighed yet tonight. I hope it tells me nice things to go to sleep to